Thursday, January 10, 2008
Mele Kalikimaka- Merry Christmas!!
Merry Christmas everyone! Please note the date... Yeah, umm January something.... So what! Right?
So, I am little late in getting this done.
Our first Christmas in Hawaii! It was a first waking to a warm temperature and opening up presents in tanks tops and shorts. I know, I know, shut up Jane, enough about how perfect Hawaii's weather is... But the windows and sliding doors were open and it was warm and sunny... HAH! Okay, I'll cork it
The boys woke up at their usual early ung-dly early hour. Well Ryan did. Andrew was behind him a few minutes. So, by 7a.m. even Maddie had rolled out of bed! She normally wakes up around noon, grumpy. Well, when presents are in store I tell ya, they all had the happiest faces on and their best attitudes! I wish every morning was Christmas!
Santa found our house and he delivered! Dru got a new bike and Ryan got a skateboard~ Maddie got a bunch of clothes( Santa is still able to get her sleepwear and stuff, but the school clothes? Puhleeease mom, you have NO idea what's COOL!) and a big wad of Christmas cash!
Here are some pics:
So, I am little late in getting this done.
Our first Christmas in Hawaii! It was a first waking to a warm temperature and opening up presents in tanks tops and shorts. I know, I know, shut up Jane, enough about how perfect Hawaii's weather is... But the windows and sliding doors were open and it was warm and sunny... HAH! Okay, I'll cork it
The boys woke up at their usual early ung-dly early hour. Well Ryan did. Andrew was behind him a few minutes. So, by 7a.m. even Maddie had rolled out of bed! She normally wakes up around noon, grumpy. Well, when presents are in store I tell ya, they all had the happiest faces on and their best attitudes! I wish every morning was Christmas!
Santa found our house and he delivered! Dru got a new bike and Ryan got a skateboard~ Maddie got a bunch of clothes( Santa is still able to get her sleepwear and stuff, but the school clothes? Puhleeease mom, you have NO idea what's COOL!) and a big wad of Christmas cash!
Here are some pics:
Thursday, January 3, 2008
I am feeling "oh so reflective"
Many of you know my mom died. I am aware of this every day in many ways. So many times, in the last well, almost 20 years I have been reminded of how fortunate my friends and acquaintances are when they talk about their mothers. There ALIVE mothers. Living, breathing, tangible moms, there for them. Usually I really take notice it when they are in the midst of a quarrel or disagreement or when mom is being too "in their business" I have to side with the mom usually, most always. When I do this I am doing it because I have an instant pang of loss, a split feeling of what "their" issue is and an instant feeling of how empty I feel at missing an opportunity like this in my own life. I wish so many times that I could just hear my mom get in my business, what I wouldn't give to hear her opinion about something in my life.
So many times I agree with what other moms say because, in fact I am 40, a mom and at that age where I know a thing or two. Precisely at an age where I could totally respect my mother, in person, to her face and just hug her and say thank you for not killing me as a teenager. She had a lot of good advice. Back then (Wayyy back then in the 80's) I think of an instance where a boy who had set a date with me was over an hour late. my mom told me that I should cancel my date, not bother with him. He blew his chance, right? Well, in my teenage desperation for whatever (the guy was cute or something stupid like that) I managed to go out with him that night anyway. It was a lame date anyways.
My mom was right. Nothing ever amounted with that guy. He ended up being an inconsiderate nobody. But I went out with him that night against my moms better judgement anyways- stupid. I didn't listen to my mom and this guy thought I was stupid enough to still go out with him after being so late! Even though thats just a little snippet of advice, not really weighty or anything. Its the little things like that I really miss. I wish my mom knew I would never stand for that now! I hope I can convince my own daughter if that ever happens to her.
I miss her laugh. I miss her smell. She smelled like Arpage (sp) perfume. The perfume itself isn't to my liking. When I see it at Sephora or somewhere, if I have enough courage, I will take and hold it up to my nose. It doesn't smell like her. I guess it was just the way it smelled on her. I remember after she died, I was so numb. I can barely remember events in the order they happened. I remember going into her closet and pulling everything hanging together and just burying my face into the mass and taking in a deep breath, trying to capture her scent, somehow I knew it would diminish every day from then on..I was so scared of that.. just disappearing. As if her death didn't punctuate that enough. I still have small things of hers that I have a hard time even thinking of parting with.
I wish when she was alive and that I had asked her more questions. I wish I had remembered everything she said instead of listening like a stupid teenager. Like I knew it all and didn't care, I was so cool. I look back and I was so stupid.
Today, a girl, a daughter of a friend, was asking about living with a boy. She may have been in her mid-late 20's but was still in conflict with her mother about moving in with a guy she is dating. I know my mom would have been against it, not because she didn't wish me the best of what I wanted, but because of the whole"issue" of "living" with a guy. I had to pause. This was yet another moment of when I would love my moms opinion on something. If I had been in this girls shoes I would listen to my mom, I would! I swear.
I wish I knew more about Gloria Jane Lenmark. I know she went to Southwest High School, she dated a guy named Jerry Schardin but broke it off when it became known that he got another girl pregnant. Now, AM I the only one who didn't think that happened back then? Well, somehow after that she ended up with my dad. See, now, being the inquisitive person that I am now I wish I could delve into her past more and find out about her. I wish she was still here to ask. I wish she was still here to get into my business. I wish I knew her when she was growing up...
There are so many thing I do know, but I feel like I missed out so many years of such useful information that I desperately need now, today as I am getting older and realize how much she DID know! How foolish I was to not listen to her better, to be a better daughter. To not be such a cocky teenager.
To all of you who have a mother out there, take it from me. THEY know you better that YOU know you. Listen to them and follow their advice. Consider yourself lucky if your mom is there to drive you nuts.
OK, there, I feel better now.... reflection over...
Thanks for listening :]
So many times I agree with what other moms say because, in fact I am 40, a mom and at that age where I know a thing or two. Precisely at an age where I could totally respect my mother, in person, to her face and just hug her and say thank you for not killing me as a teenager. She had a lot of good advice. Back then (Wayyy back then in the 80's) I think of an instance where a boy who had set a date with me was over an hour late. my mom told me that I should cancel my date, not bother with him. He blew his chance, right? Well, in my teenage desperation for whatever (the guy was cute or something stupid like that) I managed to go out with him that night anyway. It was a lame date anyways.
My mom was right. Nothing ever amounted with that guy. He ended up being an inconsiderate nobody. But I went out with him that night against my moms better judgement anyways- stupid. I didn't listen to my mom and this guy thought I was stupid enough to still go out with him after being so late! Even though thats just a little snippet of advice, not really weighty or anything. Its the little things like that I really miss. I wish my mom knew I would never stand for that now! I hope I can convince my own daughter if that ever happens to her.
I miss her laugh. I miss her smell. She smelled like Arpage (sp) perfume. The perfume itself isn't to my liking. When I see it at Sephora or somewhere, if I have enough courage, I will take and hold it up to my nose. It doesn't smell like her. I guess it was just the way it smelled on her. I remember after she died, I was so numb. I can barely remember events in the order they happened. I remember going into her closet and pulling everything hanging together and just burying my face into the mass and taking in a deep breath, trying to capture her scent, somehow I knew it would diminish every day from then on..I was so scared of that.. just disappearing. As if her death didn't punctuate that enough. I still have small things of hers that I have a hard time even thinking of parting with.
I wish when she was alive and that I had asked her more questions. I wish I had remembered everything she said instead of listening like a stupid teenager. Like I knew it all and didn't care, I was so cool. I look back and I was so stupid.
Today, a girl, a daughter of a friend, was asking about living with a boy. She may have been in her mid-late 20's but was still in conflict with her mother about moving in with a guy she is dating. I know my mom would have been against it, not because she didn't wish me the best of what I wanted, but because of the whole"issue" of "living" with a guy. I had to pause. This was yet another moment of when I would love my moms opinion on something. If I had been in this girls shoes I would listen to my mom, I would! I swear.
I wish I knew more about Gloria Jane Lenmark. I know she went to Southwest High School, she dated a guy named Jerry Schardin but broke it off when it became known that he got another girl pregnant. Now, AM I the only one who didn't think that happened back then? Well, somehow after that she ended up with my dad. See, now, being the inquisitive person that I am now I wish I could delve into her past more and find out about her. I wish she was still here to ask. I wish she was still here to get into my business. I wish I knew her when she was growing up...
There are so many thing I do know, but I feel like I missed out so many years of such useful information that I desperately need now, today as I am getting older and realize how much she DID know! How foolish I was to not listen to her better, to be a better daughter. To not be such a cocky teenager.
To all of you who have a mother out there, take it from me. THEY know you better that YOU know you. Listen to them and follow their advice. Consider yourself lucky if your mom is there to drive you nuts.
OK, there, I feel better now.... reflection over...
Thanks for listening :]
Tuesday, January 1, 2008
PTSD squirt guns...
Moving to Oahu has it's benefits. After Troy's SIX deployments to Iraq, Afghanistan and one to Djibouti I thought "I have HAD it with deployments!" I love our country! I love our soldiers! Don't get me wrong, but after 6 deployments over there we, as a family, were s-t-r-e-t-c-h-e-d! When Hawaii came up I was mad-crazy about getting here. No deployments! Barely a TDY! The kids love having their dad around! Every night he comes kayaking up to the backyard after work... Weekends he is there! What a change from before when each month he was gone at least 2 weeks on average! THe kids would go berserk for the first week, then mellow out into a schedule about the 2nd week then Dad'd show up again and back to berserk till things settled down... In time for him to leave again. It was tough to say the least.
Military kids grow up so much differently than other kids. They sacrifice a lot and probably understand and realize to what extent only when they grow up.
Living in Hawaii has given our kids another chance at normal. It is a blessing that I am so thankful for.
Let me tell you something funny...
The other morning, it was early, Troy was recalling a dream he had that night. He described it as being in Afghanistan, up in the mountains. He was in pursuit of two taliban soldiers. Troy was running up after them as they were in position to shoot Troy and the others he was with. When he had a good enough shot when he was within range to shoot he fired his M-4 and only WATER came out! His M-4 was a water-pistol! He motioned to one of his other guys that taliban were on the ridge and that guy fired off his handgun and killed a couple. When Troy shot again, his M-4 shot a full stream of water "pretty far".... He woke up.
So, basically, Hawaii has been good to Troy. He has played around enough here in paradise to prove that his dreams are now fodder for strange PTSD dreams with squirt-guns. I am happy for this.
Military kids grow up so much differently than other kids. They sacrifice a lot and probably understand and realize to what extent only when they grow up.
Living in Hawaii has given our kids another chance at normal. It is a blessing that I am so thankful for.
Let me tell you something funny...
The other morning, it was early, Troy was recalling a dream he had that night. He described it as being in Afghanistan, up in the mountains. He was in pursuit of two taliban soldiers. Troy was running up after them as they were in position to shoot Troy and the others he was with. When he had a good enough shot when he was within range to shoot he fired his M-4 and only WATER came out! His M-4 was a water-pistol! He motioned to one of his other guys that taliban were on the ridge and that guy fired off his handgun and killed a couple. When Troy shot again, his M-4 shot a full stream of water "pretty far".... He woke up.
So, basically, Hawaii has been good to Troy. He has played around enough here in paradise to prove that his dreams are now fodder for strange PTSD dreams with squirt-guns. I am happy for this.
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